Okay, we have some catching up to do...
We'll start off with The Regulars.
These people come into the restaurant about twice a week. They're very friendly, tip well and almost always have a decently funny joke to share. The Wife has a relatively complicated order, lots of no this, no that, extra this, light that going on...and on occasion, it gets messed up. Either by the server or the cooks. This week, it was my fault. When I brought the fixed item to them and apologized for my mistake, The Husband said, "I'm sure it wasn't really your fault. Those damned cooks can't speak a word of English. You should tell them the next time they mess up you'll call immigration. That'll get them to pay a little more attention." I dropped off their check right then and never went back to the table.
Next, we have Elderly Black Ladies.
The first lady asked for sweet tea. I told her, "I'm sorry, we don't have sweet tea, just regular iced tea, would you like that?" to which she replied, "Ooohhhh, child. I'm going to have to look to find something to drink." The second lady asked for sweet tea. I told her again, that we don't have sweet tea and asked if she'd like something else instead, to which she replied, "Well, if you don't have sweet tea, then I don't want anything." I offered her water and she said, "Child, what part of 'I don't want anything' did you miss?". I ignored it, and asked the third lady what she'd like to drink...yeah, she ordered Sweet Tea. I repeated myself for the third time, she ordered a root beer and the first lady ended up ordering one as well. When I came back to take their order both needed refills on their sodas because they'd given the second lady half of each of theirs so she'd have something to drink...I filled both of their sodas and told the second lady that I was going to have to charge her if she was going to have a soda. She clucked her tongue at me and rolled her eyes, "Child, do you what you got to do." Then the first lady tried to order fried chicken, I told her we don't have fried chicken. She ended up ordering lamb chops. After I was done taking the other two orders (which took nearly ten minutes in total, between telling them we don't have rolls or corn bread, I can't have the cooks take the breading off the fish and chips, we don't have asparagus, we don't serve grits after 11 am...etc) the first lady said, "Now don't tell me you don't have mint jelly to go with my lamb chops. I'll walk right out that door." "No, actually, we don't have mint jelly. Would you like me to get your coat?" All three of them laughed so hard, which was good. Everything else went fine...until after they'd left. On the table where each had been sitting was one quarter. Yes, folks, a seventy-five cent tip. Huzzah.
I did have more for you, but that last one was way longer than I expected, so I'll stop there.
Happy New Year.
Monday
Saturday
Table 35
I was sitting, smoking and talking with a Regular customer while we were absurdly slow...and there was another customer (Table 35) very near us, listening in, apparently.
After talking about books, movies and the origins of Christmas the Regular left and I went about my business. After a while, I checked on Table 35, though he wasn't my customer, simply because I was bored. As I was walking away, he stopped me to say, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing you talking to that guy over there, and I just wanted to tell you that you're very well-spoken, and seem quite intelligent."
I paused, not entirely sure how to respond, but I said thank you and had started to walk away when he said, "Can I ask you a question?". I said yes and he continued, "Like I said, you seem to be so intelligent, how can you stand being just a waitress? Don't you want to do something with your life?"
I was dumbstruck. Entirely. After a full 30-second pause, I told him, "I'm doing many things with my life right now, one of which happens to be working in a restaurant. And while you may not consider that fulfilling, I'm very happy with my life. It's very sad to me that you would judge a person on so little information. I can't imagine, if you talk to everyone you meet the way you've spoken to me, you make very many new friends. I hope you have a happy holiday, even if you do end up spending it alone. Thanks for coming in."
And I walked away.
He stayed around for about five minutes, paid for his coffee and left.
Condescending Prick.
*I would like to point out that I realize that I jumped to a quick judgement of his character with very little information less than a second after I criticized him for the very same thing, but...I feel justified in having doing so...I just wanted to make sure you know that I knew that I'd done that...Okay. That's enough justification for one post.
I was sitting, smoking and talking with a Regular customer while we were absurdly slow...and there was another customer (Table 35) very near us, listening in, apparently.
After talking about books, movies and the origins of Christmas the Regular left and I went about my business. After a while, I checked on Table 35, though he wasn't my customer, simply because I was bored. As I was walking away, he stopped me to say, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing you talking to that guy over there, and I just wanted to tell you that you're very well-spoken, and seem quite intelligent."
I paused, not entirely sure how to respond, but I said thank you and had started to walk away when he said, "Can I ask you a question?". I said yes and he continued, "Like I said, you seem to be so intelligent, how can you stand being just a waitress? Don't you want to do something with your life?"
I was dumbstruck. Entirely. After a full 30-second pause, I told him, "I'm doing many things with my life right now, one of which happens to be working in a restaurant. And while you may not consider that fulfilling, I'm very happy with my life. It's very sad to me that you would judge a person on so little information. I can't imagine, if you talk to everyone you meet the way you've spoken to me, you make very many new friends. I hope you have a happy holiday, even if you do end up spending it alone. Thanks for coming in."
And I walked away.
He stayed around for about five minutes, paid for his coffee and left.
Condescending Prick.
*I would like to point out that I realize that I jumped to a quick judgement of his character with very little information less than a second after I criticized him for the very same thing, but...I feel justified in having doing so...I just wanted to make sure you know that I knew that I'd done that...Okay. That's enough justification for one post.
Table 5
They were weird from the very beginning. The two of them walked in the door, the mom was crying and her son (about 25-ish) asked for a table very calmly and paid no attention to the crying woman standing next to him. I sat them and asked the woman if she needed water or a tissue, or if there was anything I could do for her. Her son answered me, "My mom's just had a really bad day. All she needs right now is some coffee. And I want a large chocolate milk. Can you put extra chocolate syrup in that for me?" Which is fine, I hadn't wanted to pry, I'm just the kind of person that gets concerned when people are crying around me...anyway.
They were weird from the very beginning. The two of them walked in the door, the mom was crying and her son (about 25-ish) asked for a table very calmly and paid no attention to the crying woman standing next to him. I sat them and asked the woman if she needed water or a tissue, or if there was anything I could do for her. Her son answered me, "My mom's just had a really bad day. All she needs right now is some coffee. And I want a large chocolate milk. Can you put extra chocolate syrup in that for me?" Which is fine, I hadn't wanted to pry, I'm just the kind of person that gets concerned when people are crying around me...anyway.
It took 40 minutes for them to decide on something to eat. During that time, they didn't talk to each other at all. They just read the menu and drank their beverages.
When I brought their food, the mom was shaking. Not like from the cold, but like she was having some wicked DT tremors. I gave her more coffee and he had two more glasses of chocolate milk.
Neither of them touched their food. They didn't want boxes, but he got a slice of chocolate cake (with extra chocolate syrup on top) to go.
When I dropped off their cake and check, I said, "Thanks for coming in guys. I hope tomorrow's a better day. Have a happy holiday.", and started to walk away. I heard the mom behind me, "I hate that PC bullshit, 'happy holidays' just say 'merry fucking christmas'." I ignored her and kept walking. A couple of minutes later, I was putting in another order at the computer, and she came up behind me and asked, "Earlier, you said 'happy holidays', are you not a Christian?" I replied, "My religion has absolutely nothing to do with bringing you your food, I just hope you have a nice Christmas and New Year. That's two holidays, so I just abbreviate it, saves me time." I tried to make it sound light...I'm not terrible comfortable talking to strangers about religion.
She took my wrist in her hand, and was looking at me very searchingly...it was all too weird, so I told her that I was busy and had to go, again thanked her for coming in and wished her a good evening. This time, as I was walking away, she said, "Please God, have mercy on that lost little girls soul."
Fucking weird.
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