Table 64
Sunday mornings are always fun at the restaurant. Servers are running their asses off, cooks are slinging food into the window as fast as they can, hosts are seating tables faster than the bussers can clean them, we have a 45 minute wait...and customers wonder why it's taking more than four minutes for their well done steaks to come up. It's awesome...but this table wasn't quite one of "those tables".
I went to Table 64 to say hello and get their drink order. The Mom orders a screwdriver, Grandma gets a coffee, and the little girls order chocolate milk. I asked The Dad what he wanted and he said, "I need you to make me a Bloody Mary, but not with that crap mix you use. That stuff's disgusting. I need you to make it from scratch." "Okay sir, I can have our bartender make you one without the mix. Do you like it spicy?" "Yeah, I like it just the way you guys make the mix but you can't use the mix." "...Okay. I'll be right back." "Miss, I just want to make sure you heard me. Don't use the mix." "Yes. Sir. I did hear you and I'll have someone make that for you right away." So, I get another server to make it (since my manager who is supposed to be helping bartend is watching college football and too busy with that to help me) and I told her to make it like we do the mix, but don't use the mix. She looked at me like I was crazy...then with sympathy realizing I just had a crazy table.
I bring out the drinks, he *looks* at his Bloody Mary and says, "You used the mix didn't you?" "No sir, I didn't. I had our bartender make it for you from scratch. Would you like to go ahead and taste it and then you can tell me if you need something added to it?" He sips and says, "It tastes like you used the mix." "Sir, I assure you, we did not use the mix. Because you asked for it just like we make the mix, I can see how it would taste similar, but it was made from scratch. Did you want me to have them make you another one?" He didn't look at me or make eye contact. His wife said, "It'll be okay. If it's not we'll just go get another from the bar." I took their order for food and walked away.
I came back once before their food was ready to get them refills. The little girls both needed more milk. I explained that the milk didn't have free refills but I'd get them more if it was okay with The Mom and The Dad. The Mom said that was fine.
I brought out their food and everything but the syrup for one of the little girls pancakes. After I put down the food I asked, "Does anyone need anything else? Tabasco, Cholula...I'll get syrup for the pancakes, but anything else right now? *pause* Okay, I'll be..." "Excuse me." "Yes, sir?" "Did you just interrupt me?" "I'm sorry?" "I was going to ask you something and you started talking right over me." "I hadn't realized I was talking over you, I'm sorry. What can I get for you?" "Do you know that I know the owners of this restaurant?" "Um. No, I didn't know that. Is there something else you need right now?" The Mom interrupts, "Will you please stop being so rude and interrupting every single time my husband tries to say something? We're trying to have a nice family breakfast and you're being nothing but rude at every turn!" I didn't even respond. Then The Dad said, "I don't see how the owners let such a snobby bitch like you wait tables on a Sunday morning when families are trying to have breakfast. I'm going to tell the owners about your rude service." I turned and walked away.
Before they left, I made a copy of their receipt, circled my name, wrote down the owners schedule at our restaurant and the number to our downtown restaurant and told him to make sure to tell the owner about our crappy Bloody Mary mix too.
They were walking past me to leave while I was putting in an order and I heard The Mom say, "On top of everything that little bitch charged us for the girls drinks when they're supposed to come with the meal."
They didn't leave me a tip, but the GM said that she talked to the owner while they were finishing breakfast and it was agreed that for calling me a bitch, The Dad would be 86'd from both restaurants. The Owner said he'll tell him when he calls to complain. The Dad hadn't realized that I know the owners, too.
Thursday
Sunday
Table 7
They seemed entirely unremarkable. A young woman, a young man and a small baby in a carrier. The baby slept in the carrier in the booth all through their dinner. The young woman ordered a you-choose-two Mexican combo plate...and ordered a third item that was listed underneath the regularly included choices in a section that says, "These choices available for an extra $ .55 cents". Knowing this has caused confusion in the past, I told her, "I'm happy to get that for you, but I just want to make sure you understand, that will be considered a you-choose-three with an extra .55 cent charge." For just one second, she looked irritated. "Yes, I read about the extra .55 cents. That's what I'd like." And she smiled. I figured we were at an understanding. I placed their order, brought out their appetizer, checked on them and got them refills, brought out their dinners, checked on them, offered refills, checked and did my little dessert tempting thing. I was at their table often enough, if I'd sat down I could've been having dinner with them. Everytime I had checked on them, they'd said the food was "perfect".
Then I dropped off their check.
I'm near the register, about half way across the restaurant from Table 7, and the young woman starts waving the check in the air and shouting, "MISS, COME HERE" which woke her baby, who started to wail at the top of its lungs. After a minute of pretending to be busy at the register (I had to give her time to take in all the dirty looks the near-by tables were giving her) I went to Table 7 and asked if there was a problem. "There most definitely is. I ordered a you-choose-two and you charged me for a you-choose-three. PLUS .55 cents." I looked at her for just a second, trying to will her to remember the conversation we'd had 30 minutes ago concerning this very topic. "Yes, ma'am. As I'd explained when you ordered, by getting the mini steak fajita burrito as well as your other options, you were ordering a you-choose-three, since you did get three items, one of which has an additional .55 cent charge." "Well, it wasn't even good." She pointed to her nearly empty plate then to her husband, "He had to finish it for me...*pause*...and the calamari was like rubber...*pause*...and I'm sure the margarita was watered down." "I'm sorry, if you'd told me any of this while you were eating, I'd've been happy to fix it for you. Since there's nothing *I* can do for I'll be happy to get the manager to come over and we'll see if there's anything that he can do for you."
I started to walk away, and she said, "No, I don't want to talk to your manager. I'll just pay for your mistake and never eat here again." She smiled smugly, her husband shook his head and the baby who'd been quietly crying for about five minutes started to wail again.
I told my manager about the exchange and asked that he take their check and try to calm her down. (I really don't need someone leaving angry and e-mailing the owners of the restaurant with exaggerated complaints, which has been happening quite often lately...though not directed at me, yet)
He listened to her complain how her food had been terrible and asked her, "Did you tell your server that you weren't enjoying your food?" "No." "Well, I'm sorry, she could've brought you something else but now that you're done the most we can do is take off 10%." "If you really were sorry, you'd just take it off entirely, but I guess if there's *nothing* else you can do, I'll take it."
And he did give her 10% off.
After she paid she walked back to Table 7 and put two shiny quarters down.
Luckily for me, while she was trying to get free food, her husband slipped me $8 and a piece of paper that said, "Sorry. It's the baby." Which, while sad, is still no excuse for such rudeness.
They seemed entirely unremarkable. A young woman, a young man and a small baby in a carrier. The baby slept in the carrier in the booth all through their dinner. The young woman ordered a you-choose-two Mexican combo plate...and ordered a third item that was listed underneath the regularly included choices in a section that says, "These choices available for an extra $ .55 cents". Knowing this has caused confusion in the past, I told her, "I'm happy to get that for you, but I just want to make sure you understand, that will be considered a you-choose-three with an extra .55 cent charge." For just one second, she looked irritated. "Yes, I read about the extra .55 cents. That's what I'd like." And she smiled. I figured we were at an understanding. I placed their order, brought out their appetizer, checked on them and got them refills, brought out their dinners, checked on them, offered refills, checked and did my little dessert tempting thing. I was at their table often enough, if I'd sat down I could've been having dinner with them. Everytime I had checked on them, they'd said the food was "perfect".
Then I dropped off their check.
I'm near the register, about half way across the restaurant from Table 7, and the young woman starts waving the check in the air and shouting, "MISS, COME HERE" which woke her baby, who started to wail at the top of its lungs. After a minute of pretending to be busy at the register (I had to give her time to take in all the dirty looks the near-by tables were giving her) I went to Table 7 and asked if there was a problem. "There most definitely is. I ordered a you-choose-two and you charged me for a you-choose-three. PLUS .55 cents." I looked at her for just a second, trying to will her to remember the conversation we'd had 30 minutes ago concerning this very topic. "Yes, ma'am. As I'd explained when you ordered, by getting the mini steak fajita burrito as well as your other options, you were ordering a you-choose-three, since you did get three items, one of which has an additional .55 cent charge." "Well, it wasn't even good." She pointed to her nearly empty plate then to her husband, "He had to finish it for me...*pause*...and the calamari was like rubber...*pause*...and I'm sure the margarita was watered down." "I'm sorry, if you'd told me any of this while you were eating, I'd've been happy to fix it for you. Since there's nothing *I* can do for I'll be happy to get the manager to come over and we'll see if there's anything that he can do for you."
I started to walk away, and she said, "No, I don't want to talk to your manager. I'll just pay for your mistake and never eat here again." She smiled smugly, her husband shook his head and the baby who'd been quietly crying for about five minutes started to wail again.
I told my manager about the exchange and asked that he take their check and try to calm her down. (I really don't need someone leaving angry and e-mailing the owners of the restaurant with exaggerated complaints, which has been happening quite often lately...though not directed at me, yet)
He listened to her complain how her food had been terrible and asked her, "Did you tell your server that you weren't enjoying your food?" "No." "Well, I'm sorry, she could've brought you something else but now that you're done the most we can do is take off 10%." "If you really were sorry, you'd just take it off entirely, but I guess if there's *nothing* else you can do, I'll take it."
And he did give her 10% off.
After she paid she walked back to Table 7 and put two shiny quarters down.
Luckily for me, while she was trying to get free food, her husband slipped me $8 and a piece of paper that said, "Sorry. It's the baby." Which, while sad, is still no excuse for such rudeness.
Saturday
Tables 52 & 53
Here's another classic that I never got around to putting up...
There was a party of 8 that came in around lunchtime on a Sunday afternoon, one of the restaurants busiest times of the week, and expected to be sat immediately. People who'd been waiting patiently, and had had their names on the list before our party of eight, were called and sat. And after every table that was sat, the Matron would come up to the hostess and ask why they weren't getting a table ready for them yet. It was repeatedly explained, that they had to wait. When, finally, their name was called they were sat in two booths, since there were no table to put together at the moment. The Matron complained that the booth was uncomfortable and she was "sinking" into it (which was most likely caused by her gigantically fat ass) but when asked if they'd rather continue waiting for a table, they declined. Which meant I was stuck with them.
The party was made up of six kids (ranging from about two years old to about 15) and two adults. The Matron ordered waters for all of the kids and a Coke for her and water for her...husband? Not one of the kids looked remotely like either of them. Before ordering, The Matron asked if the kids meals came with a free drink (like it says on the menu) I told her they did...and then she let the kids have milk. I told her I could do kids meals for the little kids but the older kids, if getting a kids meal had to purchase a full priced drink. (It's the restaurants policy) Then she told me, none of her kids were over 11.
I have to say, that's the first time I've met a 5'7 eleven year old wearing a JV soccer jersey.
I wasn't about to sit around arguing with her...so I went ahead and put five of the kids down for kids meals. There was a little blonde girl (about six?) sitting at the parents table who ordered a dozen buffalo wings and onion rings appetizer. Each of the parents ordered steak and eggs.
Remember now, it's Sunday brunch time. Five minutes after I put in their order, the Matron came up to the front of the restaurant and said Very Loudly, "Those kids are so hungry back there, they're eating jellies. How much longer are you going to make us wait for our food?!?" I told her that it was a busy time of day and it was going to take some time. There were other orders ahead of theirs, but as soon as it was ready I would bring it out. That just pissed her off. It seems her order should be cooked before anyone elses, no matter how long and patiently others had been waiting. A manager talked to her and said, exactly what I did...which while not calming her much, did get her to go back to her table. Though once she was back, she yelled at the kids (four of which were sitting at a different booth with no adult) across the booths, threw creamer at them and yelled, "Shut your mouths." "Can't you be quiet?". I had to have a manager come back and ask her to stop yelling and throwing things at her children.
After I'd brought out their food, the Matron complained that her husbands eggs were too dry. After he'd eaten them, and I'd already checked on them once and no one had mentioned it. I talked to the manager, and he said, "Just get him some new eggs". So I did. When I brought them, she complained that her steak was overcooked and she couldn't eat it...there were about four bites left from the 10 oz. Ribeye I'd brought her. Again, I talked to my manager, this time he said, "Hell no, we're not making her a new steak. Give her this $2 off coupon for next time." I explained to her, since she'd already eaten most of her steak there was nothing I could do for her (which totally contradicted the whole egg situation) other than giving her the coupon. I brought boxes for the little girl with the wings and onion rings and gave them their check.
The Matron asked why I hadn't discounted the little girls buffalo wings. I stopped because I had no answer and didn't want to just ask, "Why would I?" which gave her time to tell me, "She's a little girl you can't charge her full price. She didn't even eat all of it." I told her that she'd ordered off of the adult menu, the price clearly stated next to the item ordered and they were taking the left-overs home. There was no reason for a discount. Then she asked why I'd charged them for a kids drink if the kids got free drinks with their meals. I explained to her that a free drink for kids comes with a "kids meal" not any meal a kid orders. Since the little girl had ordered off of the regular menu, I had to charge her for her drink. (Plus, since these people were horribly rude I was going to charge them for everything I could) She took it upon herself to talk to the manager about the ticket. They backed me up and didn't take off the kids drink or discount buffalo wings.
Then the Matron asked I could split the tickets so each adult had three kids on their ticket.
I did.
When I dropped off the new checks, as I walked away, The Matron told her husband, "There menu says 'gratuity may be added to parties of five or more' and hell if I'm going to have them add a gratuity."
They took up two tables for almost two hours, complained about everything, had me running getting refills for the kids and the parents, bothering nearby customers (some of whom even moved to other tables to get away) and they left me a $1.50 tip.
Here's another classic that I never got around to putting up...
There was a party of 8 that came in around lunchtime on a Sunday afternoon, one of the restaurants busiest times of the week, and expected to be sat immediately. People who'd been waiting patiently, and had had their names on the list before our party of eight, were called and sat. And after every table that was sat, the Matron would come up to the hostess and ask why they weren't getting a table ready for them yet. It was repeatedly explained, that they had to wait. When, finally, their name was called they were sat in two booths, since there were no table to put together at the moment. The Matron complained that the booth was uncomfortable and she was "sinking" into it (which was most likely caused by her gigantically fat ass) but when asked if they'd rather continue waiting for a table, they declined. Which meant I was stuck with them.
The party was made up of six kids (ranging from about two years old to about 15) and two adults. The Matron ordered waters for all of the kids and a Coke for her and water for her...husband? Not one of the kids looked remotely like either of them. Before ordering, The Matron asked if the kids meals came with a free drink (like it says on the menu) I told her they did...and then she let the kids have milk. I told her I could do kids meals for the little kids but the older kids, if getting a kids meal had to purchase a full priced drink. (It's the restaurants policy) Then she told me, none of her kids were over 11.
I have to say, that's the first time I've met a 5'7 eleven year old wearing a JV soccer jersey.
I wasn't about to sit around arguing with her...so I went ahead and put five of the kids down for kids meals. There was a little blonde girl (about six?) sitting at the parents table who ordered a dozen buffalo wings and onion rings appetizer. Each of the parents ordered steak and eggs.
Remember now, it's Sunday brunch time. Five minutes after I put in their order, the Matron came up to the front of the restaurant and said Very Loudly, "Those kids are so hungry back there, they're eating jellies. How much longer are you going to make us wait for our food?!?" I told her that it was a busy time of day and it was going to take some time. There were other orders ahead of theirs, but as soon as it was ready I would bring it out. That just pissed her off. It seems her order should be cooked before anyone elses, no matter how long and patiently others had been waiting. A manager talked to her and said, exactly what I did...which while not calming her much, did get her to go back to her table. Though once she was back, she yelled at the kids (four of which were sitting at a different booth with no adult) across the booths, threw creamer at them and yelled, "Shut your mouths." "Can't you be quiet?". I had to have a manager come back and ask her to stop yelling and throwing things at her children.
After I'd brought out their food, the Matron complained that her husbands eggs were too dry. After he'd eaten them, and I'd already checked on them once and no one had mentioned it. I talked to the manager, and he said, "Just get him some new eggs". So I did. When I brought them, she complained that her steak was overcooked and she couldn't eat it...there were about four bites left from the 10 oz. Ribeye I'd brought her. Again, I talked to my manager, this time he said, "Hell no, we're not making her a new steak. Give her this $2 off coupon for next time." I explained to her, since she'd already eaten most of her steak there was nothing I could do for her (which totally contradicted the whole egg situation) other than giving her the coupon. I brought boxes for the little girl with the wings and onion rings and gave them their check.
The Matron asked why I hadn't discounted the little girls buffalo wings. I stopped because I had no answer and didn't want to just ask, "Why would I?" which gave her time to tell me, "She's a little girl you can't charge her full price. She didn't even eat all of it." I told her that she'd ordered off of the adult menu, the price clearly stated next to the item ordered and they were taking the left-overs home. There was no reason for a discount. Then she asked why I'd charged them for a kids drink if the kids got free drinks with their meals. I explained to her that a free drink for kids comes with a "kids meal" not any meal a kid orders. Since the little girl had ordered off of the regular menu, I had to charge her for her drink. (Plus, since these people were horribly rude I was going to charge them for everything I could) She took it upon herself to talk to the manager about the ticket. They backed me up and didn't take off the kids drink or discount buffalo wings.
Then the Matron asked I could split the tickets so each adult had three kids on their ticket.
I did.
When I dropped off the new checks, as I walked away, The Matron told her husband, "There menu says 'gratuity may be added to parties of five or more' and hell if I'm going to have them add a gratuity."
They took up two tables for almost two hours, complained about everything, had me running getting refills for the kids and the parents, bothering nearby customers (some of whom even moved to other tables to get away) and they left me a $1.50 tip.
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