Today I walked up to Table 2 and asked the woman sitting there if she was ready to order or needed a few more minutes. She said, while looking at our Mexican food page, "I could be ready if I could find your burritos on here." I pointed out the section in the middle of the page that has a heading in a 42 point font which reads "BURRITOS & A WRAP". Then she looked up at me, like I was stupid and said, "Honey, I just a want a burrito, I don't need a burrito and a wrap." I explained that it said "& A WRAP" because we have seven burritos and A wrap...

The other day I asked a table, "Do you guys need any Tabasco or Cholula?" to which the brains of the operation replied, "No...but do you think we can get some of that red hot sauce?"

I get this one All The Time. "Can I get you folks something to drink? Water, coffee, iced tea?" "No, we don't need anything to drink. Just water." Water IS a drink people!!

"Can I have cold iced tea?" I still don't know which other restaurants serve hot iced tea...but people seem to like that ours is cold.

On our menu we have a Bowl of Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat or Grits listed. Right beneath the listing it reads, Served Mon-Fri 6 am to 11 am; Sat & Sun 6 am to 1 pm. At least twice a week, someone asks for oatmeal after 5 pm...more often than not pointing to item on the menu and then is shocked when I tell them we don't serve it after 11 am during the week.

Think that's enough for now? No? Okay, one more.

A while back a young man was sitting alone at Table 3 and ordered a red chili burger. I asked how he wanted it cooked and if he wanted fries with his burger. He told me well done and yes, he'd like fries.
When I brought his burger he looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong order. I ordered a chili burger."
"Yes, sir. This is our burger with chili on it, which we generally call the chili burger."
"No, in your menu it says that it's a bowl of chili with a burger, cheese and onions."
(What it actually says is "Smothered in red chili with American and diced onions. Served with a side of red chili, too." I'd also like to point out it's listed in the middle of the BURGER section of the menu...with all the other BURGERS.)
I ended up taking it back to the cooks and asking them to just put the patty in a bowl of chili and he was happy.
Still, it was one of the oddest misunderstandings I've ever had to deal with.