Hi Folks!

Sorry about the lack of updates lately.
I had my shifts cut for a few weeks and as a result didn't run into quite as many jerks as I tend to and the ones I did come across just didn't seem as bad as the old ones. Sure, they still complain if there's too much ice in their water or if they have to wait more than five minutes for their steaks well-done but it just didn't seem worth it to bring something so petty to you.
I'm working on getting some server friends to share their stories with you at a later date...but as of now, the updates will stay on their about once every two weeks or so pace.

I'll have something for you no later than May 1. Promise.


Table 41

I saw the host seat Table 41 and followed him with a carafe of water. I set it on the table as he gave them their menus. I greeted them with my standard, "Good evening, ladies. How are you today? *pause appropriately* Glad to hear it. Could I start you off with a coffee, coke, margarita or an iced tea?"
Mother: "We have only just walked in the door. We have no idea what we'll be drinking tonight. It's very rude for that to be the first question out of your mouth. We will need more time."
*smile* "I understand you'll need a few minutes. I'd just like to point out my first question was to ask how you were. I'll go ahead and give you a some time."
Daughter: "Excuse me, miss? I'm sorry, could I have an iced tea? That sounds really good."
"Of course, I'll be right back." I took about 45 seconds to get an order from a single gentleman sitting at a counter seat, then I filled the iced tea and brought it to the table.

Mother: "It doesn't look busy. There are a lot of empty tables"
"It's not quite dinner time yet; we'll fill up soon. Would you prefer a bigger booth?"
Mother: "No. I was just wondering why, if it's not busy it took you so long to get back to take our order?"
They hadn't even been in the restaurant a full five minutes yet and the bitch is complaining .
"I apologize for the wait. I'll go ahead and take your order now so you won't have to wait any longer, if you'd like."
Mother: "We'll share your chicken nachos. Chili on the side. No guacamole. A Large, did you get that, LARGE? salsa. I want the cheese melt-ed, not like it is sometimes where it's just shredded cheese tossed on there, MELT-ED. Jalepenos, so they're noticeable. I want to actually be able to taste them. Light on the lettuce and extra tomatoes. And a sour cream for each of us."
"Sounds great, I'll get that in right now and out to you as soon as possible. Did you decide if you'd like a drink?"
Mother: "Yes, I will need a coke. I'm surprised you remembered to ask."
*smile and walk away to do a million other things*

About ten minutes later, I'm crazy busy putting in orders from the bar getting out food to people that ordered before Table 41 and drinks and orders from people that have come in since Table 41 arrived. My manager is helping out and runs my food to Table 41. Everything came up exactly how they wanted. He said me, "They said no one ever got it right before. Hahaha. You're good girl." Which really did make me smile.

Then *I* go to check on Table 41 myself just to make sure they're happy.

Mother: "The cheese was melted, but it was still somehow cold. And she got more sour cream than I did, so I'll need another one. And could you do me a favor and ask the cooks how old these chips are? They taste stale. Eventually, I'll need another coke, but could you ask your manager to get it for me? He's so nice and he actually seems to care about what we need."
"I'm sorry, was there something you needed that I didn't get for you?"
*Mother stuffs a handful of chips in her mouth instead of answering me*
Daughter: "No, actually, you've been wonderful."
"Thank you very much. I'll have Anthony come back by with your sour cream and soda in a minute."

I went to the manager and relayed the previous exchange to him. He agreed that Mother was a bitch and took her some sour cream and a coke.

When they went to pay and the host asked how their dinner had been the Mother said, "Everything was perfect. You're lucky to work with a such a great manager. He got our order just right."
At this rate I'm going to have to change this to worst customer of the month.
Though, it is actually a good thing I'm posting less often...It means that less people have been assholes to me recently. Either that or so many people are assholes, I'm just getting used to it.

Anyway, lets get on with the show kids!

For those of you who don't know, I work in a diner-style restaurant. Basically, a family-owned Denny's with good quality food. And some damned good green chili. I just wanted you to keep that in mind...

Table 7 - A young blonde woman asked me, "Excuse me, do you have San Pellegrino water?"
"No, ma'am. I'm sorry, we don't carry bottled water." *pause* "Not even Fiji?" "Nope, sorry. We do have coca-cola products and Bud on tap though." *smile*

Host Desk - "Hi ladies, two this evening?" The shorter blonde lady responds, "Yes, non-smoking please." "The whole restaurant is non-smoking, so that should be easy enough. Follow me, please." The taller blonde lady stops me, "Is it really non-smoking, it smells like cigarettes." "Yes, ma'am. Colorado passed a law that prohibits smoking in restaurants, and we've been non-smoking for about seven or eight months now. Would you like a booth?" "Can we have a waitress that doesn't smoke cigarettes then. I don't want to have to smell their smoke while I'm trying to eat." It just so happened that evening that no one there, not even the manager, was a non-smoker. "Actually, I'm not sure there is a non-smoking server here tonight...would you like me to double check?" "No, we'll just go somewhere else." And they left.

I can understand not wanting to eat in a restaurant that allows smoking and I can even understand that it can be gross when someone breeathes smoker breath on you but there's only been one time, ever that I can remember being able to smell the smoke on a server while I was a diner. And I don't cook, so I eat out a LOT.

Yeah, that's all for now. Catch up with you later.


Over a month since the last update?! My bad.

Table 21

A party of six LARP players (including two elves, ears and all!) came in and took nearly five minutes to sit down (they had to figure out how the two enemy parties would be able to share a table, seriously I overheard them discussing it). When I asked about drinks, most ordered normally, but the fifth guy asked, "Have ye mead, wench?" I replied, "Sir, I understand if you're in a game, but don't call me wench. We do have beer if that's what you're referring to." "I'll just have a coke." They ordered and ate nearly without incident, though at one point the mead guy stood up and took out his "sword" (painted cardboard) and knelt beside a chubby elf and offered it to her. She declined and he took his seat. Their bill came out to $95 and I learned that though they ordered modern beverages and ate mexican food, tipping isn't allowed in their game. Yep, not even a shiny florin. Bastards.

Table 6 (most annoying table in a LONG time)

Two older black ladies sat down just as we were starting to get a little busy.
Me: "Good evening ladies, could I get you started with some drinks?"
Lady A: "Honey, we just sat ourselves down."
Lady B: "I know I want a decaf coffee."
Lady A: "You don't know what you're eating. How do you know you want a coffee?"
Lady B: "I don't need to know. Coffee goes with anything."
Lady A: "Oh, hell no it don't."
Me: "Okay, I'll get your coffee and just grab a water for you, until you decide what you'd like to eat."
Lady B: "Not coffee, decaf."
Lady A: "Oooh, girl don't try rushin me, bringing me water won't make me decide any faster."
Lady B: "DECAF."
Me: "Yes, decaf. Got it. Be right back."

I get table 7's drink order, and come back to Table 6 with the decaf and drinks for table 7 (which is my next stop)
Lady A: "We didn't order all this!"
Lady B: "This don't taste like decaf."
Me: "I assure you it's decaf, and these are for another table."
Lady A: "I thought you said you was bringing us water?"
Me: "I thought you'd said you didn't want any water, I'm sorry. I'll bring you some just after I drop these off."
Lady A: Can't you get it now? Or are they more important than we are?"
Me: "Ma'am. It's not a matter or more important, it'd just be more conveinent. It will only take a minute. I will be right back"
Lady B: "And I need some decaf coffee. This ain't decaf."

I drop off table 7's drinks and get their order. I go to the computer, put in their order, grab the pot of decaf, a clean cup, a carafe of water and make my way back to Table 6.

I pour the decaf in the new cup for Lady B. She takes a drink and says, "This tastes just like that first cup."
"Yes, ma'am, that's because the first cup was decaf. Are you ladies ready to order?" (Table 8 and Table 22 get sat)
Lady A: "Do you use real eggs?"
Me. "Yes, unless you specifically ask for egg beaters we use real eggs."
Lady A: "How 'bout your bacon?"
Me: "Absolutely real bacon." (I've never heard of artificial bacon)
Lady A: "Hmm...I don't want breakfast."
Me: "If you're not ready, I can come back in just a minute."
Lady B: "No, it's not that we're not ready, your menu is just too big."
Me: "Okay, what can I get for you?"
Lady A: "Is your green chili hot?"
Me: "I don't think it's hot, but it's definitely spicy. Want me to go grab you a sample?"
Lady B: "No, that's okay. Are these hot dogs all beef?"
Me: "Yes"
Lady B: "Oh, I don't like that. You have so much but you don't have a monte cristo?"
Me: "No, we don't. Ladies, I'm sorry, I'll be back to answer more questions in a minute, but I was just paged that I have food up. I really do have to go. I'll be right back."

(The above took nearly ten minutes...there were many, many more questions they'd asked)
I took out table 7's food, got drink orders, drinks and food orders for tables 8 and 22 then went back to Table6.

Me: "Sorry about the wait ladies. Did that give you enough time to decide on dinner?"
Five more minutes of questions...Table 21 gets sat.
Finally, just as I was going to make up any excuse to get away, they order.
Lady A gets Chicken Fried Steak, salad with Ranch, A loaded Baked Potato and lady B gets a slice of chocolate cake.

I put in their order, take food out to tables 8 and 22, drop off 7's check, drop off Table 6's salad, take 21's order, check on 8 & 22, table 7 gets sat again, I get their drinks and then I have to go back to Table 6.

Lady A: "How come you just bringing out our food when these people *points to table 22* got here after us and they already been eating for 5 minutes?"
Me: "They were ready to order sooner. Do you need anything to go with this right now?"
Lady B: "I need a menu, I think I'm going to have dinner after all."

Okay, I just really how much I've written but I think you get the point. It takes Lady B another 20 minutes to order. As soon as she does order, Lady A decideds she wants dessert, then their crazy Jamaican friend joins them, takes 20 minutes to order. Then they decide to get three dinners to go. All in all, they were there for just over two hours, they asked probably 150 questions, ordered six dinners, three desserts, two beverages, used seven silverware set-ups (that was mostly on the Jamaican guy) and tipped me $1.25.