Table 35
I was sitting, smoking and talking with a Regular customer while we were absurdly slow...and there was another customer (Table 35) very near us, listening in, apparently.
After talking about books, movies and the origins of Christmas the Regular left and I went about my business. After a while, I checked on Table 35, though he wasn't my customer, simply because I was bored. As I was walking away, he stopped me to say, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing you talking to that guy over there, and I just wanted to tell you that you're very well-spoken, and seem quite intelligent."
I paused, not entirely sure how to respond, but I said thank you and had started to walk away when he said, "Can I ask you a question?". I said yes and he continued, "Like I said, you seem to be so intelligent, how can you stand being just a waitress? Don't you want to do something with your life?"
I was dumbstruck. Entirely. After a full 30-second pause, I told him, "I'm doing many things with my life right now, one of which happens to be working in a restaurant. And while you may not consider that fulfilling, I'm very happy with my life. It's very sad to me that you would judge a person on so little information. I can't imagine, if you talk to everyone you meet the way you've spoken to me, you make very many new friends. I hope you have a happy holiday, even if you do end up spending it alone. Thanks for coming in."
And I walked away.
He stayed around for about five minutes, paid for his coffee and left.
Condescending Prick.
*I would like to point out that I realize that I jumped to a quick judgement of his character with very little information less than a second after I criticized him for the very same thing, but...I feel justified in having doing so...I just wanted to make sure you know that I knew that I'd done that...Okay. That's enough justification for one post.
Saturday
Table 5
They were weird from the very beginning. The two of them walked in the door, the mom was crying and her son (about 25-ish) asked for a table very calmly and paid no attention to the crying woman standing next to him. I sat them and asked the woman if she needed water or a tissue, or if there was anything I could do for her. Her son answered me, "My mom's just had a really bad day. All she needs right now is some coffee. And I want a large chocolate milk. Can you put extra chocolate syrup in that for me?" Which is fine, I hadn't wanted to pry, I'm just the kind of person that gets concerned when people are crying around me...anyway.
They were weird from the very beginning. The two of them walked in the door, the mom was crying and her son (about 25-ish) asked for a table very calmly and paid no attention to the crying woman standing next to him. I sat them and asked the woman if she needed water or a tissue, or if there was anything I could do for her. Her son answered me, "My mom's just had a really bad day. All she needs right now is some coffee. And I want a large chocolate milk. Can you put extra chocolate syrup in that for me?" Which is fine, I hadn't wanted to pry, I'm just the kind of person that gets concerned when people are crying around me...anyway.
It took 40 minutes for them to decide on something to eat. During that time, they didn't talk to each other at all. They just read the menu and drank their beverages.
When I brought their food, the mom was shaking. Not like from the cold, but like she was having some wicked DT tremors. I gave her more coffee and he had two more glasses of chocolate milk.
Neither of them touched their food. They didn't want boxes, but he got a slice of chocolate cake (with extra chocolate syrup on top) to go.
When I dropped off their cake and check, I said, "Thanks for coming in guys. I hope tomorrow's a better day. Have a happy holiday.", and started to walk away. I heard the mom behind me, "I hate that PC bullshit, 'happy holidays' just say 'merry fucking christmas'." I ignored her and kept walking. A couple of minutes later, I was putting in another order at the computer, and she came up behind me and asked, "Earlier, you said 'happy holidays', are you not a Christian?" I replied, "My religion has absolutely nothing to do with bringing you your food, I just hope you have a nice Christmas and New Year. That's two holidays, so I just abbreviate it, saves me time." I tried to make it sound light...I'm not terrible comfortable talking to strangers about religion.
She took my wrist in her hand, and was looking at me very searchingly...it was all too weird, so I told her that I was busy and had to go, again thanked her for coming in and wished her a good evening. This time, as I was walking away, she said, "Please God, have mercy on that lost little girls soul."
Fucking weird.
Friday
This is not my story; but it's being told with permission.
Table 6
Most people leave a tip for their server on the table. I've always found it odd when people seem worried enough about their tip to make sure to hand it to their server directly. Tonight, I realized why that could be important. There was $7 sitting on Table 6 between the ketchup bottles; the host sat a young woman at Table 6, left to get her a carafe of water and when he came back to give it to her, he saw her count the money, take the five out, unzip her purse and stuff it in. He went up to her gave her the water and said, "Excuse, there was $7 on this table, what happened to the rest?" (I was standing near him and heard this exchange) "Oh. I was trading the five for some ones." She unzips her purse and pulls out four ones and four quarters, tosses them on the table and says, "Are you trying to accuse me of something?" Then he told her, "Well, I saw you put it in your purse and I just wasn't sure....I just wanted to make sure the server got her money." The woman stood up, grabbed her purse and nearly screamed, "You were watching me?! How dare you just stand there and watch someone without their knowledge. Are you some kind of pervert?! I'm not hungry anymore." And she left.
It was really weird.
Table 6
Most people leave a tip for their server on the table. I've always found it odd when people seem worried enough about their tip to make sure to hand it to their server directly. Tonight, I realized why that could be important. There was $7 sitting on Table 6 between the ketchup bottles; the host sat a young woman at Table 6, left to get her a carafe of water and when he came back to give it to her, he saw her count the money, take the five out, unzip her purse and stuff it in. He went up to her gave her the water and said, "Excuse, there was $7 on this table, what happened to the rest?" (I was standing near him and heard this exchange) "Oh. I was trading the five for some ones." She unzips her purse and pulls out four ones and four quarters, tosses them on the table and says, "Are you trying to accuse me of something?" Then he told her, "Well, I saw you put it in your purse and I just wasn't sure....I just wanted to make sure the server got her money." The woman stood up, grabbed her purse and nearly screamed, "You were watching me?! How dare you just stand there and watch someone without their knowledge. Are you some kind of pervert?! I'm not hungry anymore." And she left.
It was really weird.
Saturday
This story isn't quite my usual style, but hopefully you'll still find it amusing.
We serve Heinz Malt Vinegar with our fish & chips. ^ This is what the bottle looks like.
Both guests at Table 12 had ordered the fish and chips. After I brought their food, I took a bottle of malt vinegar out of my apron and placed it on the table.
The woman says, "I didn't order any beer." Which makes me smile because it's funny to me, and I tell her, "That's not beer, that's malt vinegar..." (I was about to follow up with, "it's for your fish and chips." but she cut me off with...) "I don't care if it's not considered 'beer' because it's malt liquor, I didn't order it. And I don't want it on the bill." It takes considerable strength for me to hold back a giggle, but I pick up the bottle and show her the word VINEGAR and explain it's for her food and we don't charge for it, so she shouldn't have to worry about her bill.
It was all very funny.
Looking back on it later, I couldn't help but wonder if this woman has had previous experience with waitresses who carry beer in their aprons. And that just made it funnier for me.
We serve Heinz Malt Vinegar with our fish & chips. ^ This is what the bottle looks like.Both guests at Table 12 had ordered the fish and chips. After I brought their food, I took a bottle of malt vinegar out of my apron and placed it on the table.
The woman says, "I didn't order any beer." Which makes me smile because it's funny to me, and I tell her, "That's not beer, that's malt vinegar..." (I was about to follow up with, "it's for your fish and chips." but she cut me off with...) "I don't care if it's not considered 'beer' because it's malt liquor, I didn't order it. And I don't want it on the bill." It takes considerable strength for me to hold back a giggle, but I pick up the bottle and show her the word VINEGAR and explain it's for her food and we don't charge for it, so she shouldn't have to worry about her bill.
It was all very funny.
Looking back on it later, I couldn't help but wonder if this woman has had previous experience with waitresses who carry beer in their aprons. And that just made it funnier for me.
Monday
Not all bad customers are adults...
Table 24
I walk up to a young couple and their three year old child. I ask if they'd like something to drink and the little girl says, "YOU DRINK PEE!!!". Her mom doesn't even acknowledge it and orders a milk for the tiny monster. I come back to take their order and the mom says to the little girl, "Now tell the lady what you want to eat." Which is always great, because kids take 10 minutes to order a hot dog. The little girl says, "I want a pony!!" To which I reply, "A little thing like you couldn't eat a whole pony. Silly girl. Did you want a cheeseburger?" The mom looks at me all evily, "She can order for herself." So, I stand their waiting while the little darling tries to stick a crayon up her nose and her mom coos "C'mon honey, tell the nice lady what you want to eat." Instead of ordering the little girl bangs her spoon on the table, throws her crayons at the busser, picks her nose. I ask the dad what he'd like to eat, while this is going on, and before he even opens his mouth, the mom says, "I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to rush my little girl and let her order." To which I reply, "I'm sure that couple [pointing to another table waiting quietly with their menus closed in the universal symbol of "ready to order"] would appreciate it if you would just order for your daughter so they can order as well. I'm sure she's capable, but right now she seems distracted, so maybe you can help her out a little bit."
Okay, I admit, it wasn't the nicest way to have handled that, but seriously, I was there for like six minutes and I had two other new tables to get to, I'd already offered to come back, tried to take the dad's order...I felt I'd ran out of polite options. My only other choice was to walk away.
The mom orders the kid a cheeseburger.
When I bring their food out, the mom asks for another milk for her daughter. I explain that I will have to charge her for the refill, but I'll gladly get her one. The mom opens her mouth to say something but the little girl starts talking first, "My mommy says you're a stupid bitch." The dad cracks up laughing, the mom turns beat red, grabs her daughter out of her high chair and runs to the bathroom with her. The dad says to just bring the refill and apologizes.
When they came back from the bathroom the mom wouldn't look at me, and the little girl was all teary eyed. Though she did throw her french fries at the bus girl.
Table 24
I walk up to a young couple and their three year old child. I ask if they'd like something to drink and the little girl says, "YOU DRINK PEE!!!". Her mom doesn't even acknowledge it and orders a milk for the tiny monster. I come back to take their order and the mom says to the little girl, "Now tell the lady what you want to eat." Which is always great, because kids take 10 minutes to order a hot dog. The little girl says, "I want a pony!!" To which I reply, "A little thing like you couldn't eat a whole pony. Silly girl. Did you want a cheeseburger?" The mom looks at me all evily, "She can order for herself." So, I stand their waiting while the little darling tries to stick a crayon up her nose and her mom coos "C'mon honey, tell the nice lady what you want to eat." Instead of ordering the little girl bangs her spoon on the table, throws her crayons at the busser, picks her nose. I ask the dad what he'd like to eat, while this is going on, and before he even opens his mouth, the mom says, "I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to rush my little girl and let her order." To which I reply, "I'm sure that couple [pointing to another table waiting quietly with their menus closed in the universal symbol of "ready to order"] would appreciate it if you would just order for your daughter so they can order as well. I'm sure she's capable, but right now she seems distracted, so maybe you can help her out a little bit."
Okay, I admit, it wasn't the nicest way to have handled that, but seriously, I was there for like six minutes and I had two other new tables to get to, I'd already offered to come back, tried to take the dad's order...I felt I'd ran out of polite options. My only other choice was to walk away.
The mom orders the kid a cheeseburger.
When I bring their food out, the mom asks for another milk for her daughter. I explain that I will have to charge her for the refill, but I'll gladly get her one. The mom opens her mouth to say something but the little girl starts talking first, "My mommy says you're a stupid bitch." The dad cracks up laughing, the mom turns beat red, grabs her daughter out of her high chair and runs to the bathroom with her. The dad says to just bring the refill and apologizes.
When they came back from the bathroom the mom wouldn't look at me, and the little girl was all teary eyed. Though she did throw her french fries at the bus girl.
Tuesday
Table 6
The Old Man and The Old Woman were glaring at each other when I walked up to get their drink order. He asked for coffee and she asked for "A variety of teas, two tins of hot water, three lemons, a carafe of water- no ice, a glass of ice and two straws." I told her that I can't bring her a variety of teas, but I would tell her what we have and she can make her choice. I then listed all 10 types of tea. She said I "talk too fast" and asked me to tell her again, this time "slowly, clearly and louder". So I did. Then she said, "If you would just bring me two tea bags of every kind, like I want, I would be able to choose." I tell her again, we are not allowed to bring more than two tea bags to any customer. And she asks me to tell her again what we have. She made a decision that time and I went to go get their drinks.
I tell a co-worker what a gem I have at Table 6...but my co-worker already knew. She had went out to get something from her car when Table 6 was on their way in. The Old Woman was complaining to The Old Man about his driving as they walked up the stairs...and as they walked in the door...and as they waited for a table.
I get back to the table to see if they're ready to order. The Old Man asks about the specials. I tell him that I don't know them yet, as the manager hasn't put them up (on the board) yet, but I'll go check with her. To which The Old Woman replies, "The Dinner Specials Should Be Up Before Dinner. You need to tell your manager that." I go check on the specials, not telling my manager anything because it's only 4:30, which I don't really consider "Dinner". I get back to the table, tell them the specials and then The Old Man asks about the prices. I apologize and tell him that I don't know because the manager didn't tell me when she told me what the specials were going to be. The Old Woman says, "I'm very upset right now. It's a sign of poor customer service to not find out all the information your customer will need. Don't you know anything about service? The Customer Is Always Right, and right now I'm upset." I go back and find out the prices of the specials, go back to Table 6, tell them the prices and take their order. Their order does not include any specials.
When I brought out The Old Woman's salad, with dressing on the side, one drop of dressing had spilled out of the cup onto the lettuce about which she complained before dumping the whole cup of dressing onto the salad. Then she asked for more dressing.
When I brought out their food she complained that she hadn't finished her salad and there was too much gravy on her mashed potatoes.
After The Old Woman is done eating every last bite of her food (including sopping up her gravy with her toast) she complains that her food was "cold, over-cooked and practically tasteless". I'd checked on them twice while they were eating and she'd never said a word.
I have to say, it was all worth my fifty cent tip. < /sarcasm>
The Old Man and The Old Woman were glaring at each other when I walked up to get their drink order. He asked for coffee and she asked for "A variety of teas, two tins of hot water, three lemons, a carafe of water- no ice, a glass of ice and two straws." I told her that I can't bring her a variety of teas, but I would tell her what we have and she can make her choice. I then listed all 10 types of tea. She said I "talk too fast" and asked me to tell her again, this time "slowly, clearly and louder". So I did. Then she said, "If you would just bring me two tea bags of every kind, like I want, I would be able to choose." I tell her again, we are not allowed to bring more than two tea bags to any customer. And she asks me to tell her again what we have. She made a decision that time and I went to go get their drinks.
I tell a co-worker what a gem I have at Table 6...but my co-worker already knew. She had went out to get something from her car when Table 6 was on their way in. The Old Woman was complaining to The Old Man about his driving as they walked up the stairs...and as they walked in the door...and as they waited for a table.
I get back to the table to see if they're ready to order. The Old Man asks about the specials. I tell him that I don't know them yet, as the manager hasn't put them up (on the board) yet, but I'll go check with her. To which The Old Woman replies, "The Dinner Specials Should Be Up Before Dinner. You need to tell your manager that." I go check on the specials, not telling my manager anything because it's only 4:30, which I don't really consider "Dinner". I get back to the table, tell them the specials and then The Old Man asks about the prices. I apologize and tell him that I don't know because the manager didn't tell me when she told me what the specials were going to be. The Old Woman says, "I'm very upset right now. It's a sign of poor customer service to not find out all the information your customer will need. Don't you know anything about service? The Customer Is Always Right, and right now I'm upset." I go back and find out the prices of the specials, go back to Table 6, tell them the prices and take their order. Their order does not include any specials.
When I brought out The Old Woman's salad, with dressing on the side, one drop of dressing had spilled out of the cup onto the lettuce about which she complained before dumping the whole cup of dressing onto the salad. Then she asked for more dressing.
When I brought out their food she complained that she hadn't finished her salad and there was too much gravy on her mashed potatoes.
After The Old Woman is done eating every last bite of her food (including sopping up her gravy with her toast) she complains that her food was "cold, over-cooked and practically tasteless". I'd checked on them twice while they were eating and she'd never said a word.
I have to say, it was all worth my fifty cent tip. < /sarcasm>
Saturday
Table 6
They walk in at 8:50. They know we close in ten minutes, so they order quickly. Though, Lady A is a bit upset we're out of baked potatoes and soup. She settles for mashed potatoes and a salad. Everything's all right.
They're done eating and Lady B calls me over to the table. She asks me, "Do you speak English?" I reply that I do and ask what I can do for her. She points at the bus girl who is pulling out the tables and sweeping underneath. "Tell her to stop sweeping." Now, they're done eating and the bus girl isn't sweeping near their table...so just to clarify, I ask, "I'm sorry, you want her to stop sweeping altogether?" "Yeah, I want her to stop sweeping. She kickin' up dust all over here." I tell Laby B that she does have to sweep right now, but she can go to another section of the resturant, if that's okay. "Whatever. That's better than nothing anyway." So, I ask the bus girl to go to the front of the restaurant instead. As I'm walking back to finish my sidework, Lady B stops me again and asks to see my manager.
She tells him exactly what I've just told you, but she adds that I looked at her "like she was stupid or something", I rolled my eyes, and I said something rude about her in Spanish to the bus girl.
I don't even speak Spanish...and I never roll my eyes at a customer when they can see me.
They got 20% off their bill and I was told to stop "havin' so much damn attitude".
*rolls eyes*
They walk in at 8:50. They know we close in ten minutes, so they order quickly. Though, Lady A is a bit upset we're out of baked potatoes and soup. She settles for mashed potatoes and a salad. Everything's all right.
They're done eating and Lady B calls me over to the table. She asks me, "Do you speak English?" I reply that I do and ask what I can do for her. She points at the bus girl who is pulling out the tables and sweeping underneath. "Tell her to stop sweeping." Now, they're done eating and the bus girl isn't sweeping near their table...so just to clarify, I ask, "I'm sorry, you want her to stop sweeping altogether?" "Yeah, I want her to stop sweeping. She kickin' up dust all over here." I tell Laby B that she does have to sweep right now, but she can go to another section of the resturant, if that's okay. "Whatever. That's better than nothing anyway." So, I ask the bus girl to go to the front of the restaurant instead. As I'm walking back to finish my sidework, Lady B stops me again and asks to see my manager.
She tells him exactly what I've just told you, but she adds that I looked at her "like she was stupid or something", I rolled my eyes, and I said something rude about her in Spanish to the bus girl.
I don't even speak Spanish...and I never roll my eyes at a customer when they can see me.
They got 20% off their bill and I was told to stop "havin' so much damn attitude".
*rolls eyes*
Forget the flu, Stupidity is far more contagious.
Questions I was asked today:
"Is there meat in the 'guy-row' sandwich?" *correct answer: Yes, gyro meat!*
After being asked how he wants his patty melt cooked, "Just grilled is okay. Or do you deep-fry them?" *correct answer: medium well*
"A margarita sounds good, but I do they all have tequila in them?" *I'm sure they have tequila-less margaritas somewhere, but I've yet to have one...unless you count a daquiri, those are kinda like margaritas*
"What kind of soup do you have tonight?" "I'm sorry, we're all out of soup." "Oh, well, do you have any chicken noodle?" "No, sir I'm sorry, we are out of soup." "Oh. Do you have any broth left?" "No, sir. We're all out."
"Look John, they have two stores. We'll have to try the one in Aurora." John repies, "This is the one in Aurora." Woman, as I pass the table, "Excuse me, miss, is this the Aurora restaurant or the Denver restaurant?" *I could've pointed to the sign across the street that says, "Now Entering Aurora", but I just politely told her we were in Aurora and the other store is downtown.*
All in one night.
Questions I was asked today:
"Is there meat in the 'guy-row' sandwich?" *correct answer: Yes, gyro meat!*
After being asked how he wants his patty melt cooked, "Just grilled is okay. Or do you deep-fry them?" *correct answer: medium well*
"A margarita sounds good, but I do they all have tequila in them?" *I'm sure they have tequila-less margaritas somewhere, but I've yet to have one...unless you count a daquiri, those are kinda like margaritas*
"What kind of soup do you have tonight?" "I'm sorry, we're all out of soup." "Oh, well, do you have any chicken noodle?" "No, sir I'm sorry, we are out of soup." "Oh. Do you have any broth left?" "No, sir. We're all out."
"Look John, they have two stores. We'll have to try the one in Aurora." John repies, "This is the one in Aurora." Woman, as I pass the table, "Excuse me, miss, is this the Aurora restaurant or the Denver restaurant?" *I could've pointed to the sign across the street that says, "Now Entering Aurora", but I just politely told her we were in Aurora and the other store is downtown.*
All in one night.
I know, you've all been dying for updates...but my computer broke. We have a new one now, so there should be no delay in the asshole customer updates! Yay. I know you're all very excited.
A quick run-down on what's been going on in the restaurant.
Table 6. Three guys drunk at 8:30 p.m. on a Thursday night come in for some breakfast to soak up the booze. My pen has a spoon taped to it, which they find very amusing. I explain it's so customers don't take it when they use it for a credit card. They ask why I don't use a fork (that way if someone pisses me off I can poke them with it), I explain that if I used a fork and kept it in my apron every time I bend over, it pokes me. Yeah, that's not something to say to drunk guys. They start laughing about me getting "poked when I bend over". Then one of them orders, "Eggs Bend over" instead of eggs benedict. His friends think it's the funniest thing ever and I walk away, because seriously...it wasn't even that funny.
Table 8. They both order malts, hers with EXTRA malt. So, instead of the three scoops of malt we usually use, I give her five. More than enough for most malt lovers...Or so I thought. When I bring their food, she tells me, "This shake is clumpy and there's no malt whatsoever in it. I can't drink it." I offer to re-mix it and add more malt. "More malt? Are you trying to tell me you put malt in this the first time? It sure doesn't taste like it." I ask her again if this means she'd like it re-mixed, finally she answers me. "That would be great...and don't forget the malt this time."
I can't express it quite as well here, but seriously, she was such a condescending bitch.
Table 35. A guy walks into a bar...no wait, that's not what I meant to say. I guy walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a drink (Jim Beam on the rocks) and then another ("This time make it a double") smokes three cigarettes and orders another drink ("Just bring me two right away"). With his last drinks, I bring the bill. "No, no schweety," he slurs, "I'm just getting started. I don't need a tab yet." I tell him four drinks is our limit, which is what my manager told me as I made his last two drinks. He puts down the cash to cover the tab, slams both of his drinks and walks out. A minute later, he comes back in and asks for a Jim Beam on the rocks. I tell him I can't serve him. He argues that he just walked in the door, I tell him I'm sorry, but there's nothing more I can do, he's more than welcome to talk to the manager. Instead, he just leaves, muttering swear words under his breath.
Okay, that's more than enough for now. Catch ya next week, I'm off this weekend.
A quick run-down on what's been going on in the restaurant.
Table 6. Three guys drunk at 8:30 p.m. on a Thursday night come in for some breakfast to soak up the booze. My pen has a spoon taped to it, which they find very amusing. I explain it's so customers don't take it when they use it for a credit card. They ask why I don't use a fork (that way if someone pisses me off I can poke them with it), I explain that if I used a fork and kept it in my apron every time I bend over, it pokes me. Yeah, that's not something to say to drunk guys. They start laughing about me getting "poked when I bend over". Then one of them orders, "Eggs Bend over" instead of eggs benedict. His friends think it's the funniest thing ever and I walk away, because seriously...it wasn't even that funny.
Table 8. They both order malts, hers with EXTRA malt. So, instead of the three scoops of malt we usually use, I give her five. More than enough for most malt lovers...Or so I thought. When I bring their food, she tells me, "This shake is clumpy and there's no malt whatsoever in it. I can't drink it." I offer to re-mix it and add more malt. "More malt? Are you trying to tell me you put malt in this the first time? It sure doesn't taste like it." I ask her again if this means she'd like it re-mixed, finally she answers me. "That would be great...and don't forget the malt this time."
I can't express it quite as well here, but seriously, she was such a condescending bitch.
Table 35. A guy walks into a bar...no wait, that's not what I meant to say. I guy walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a drink (Jim Beam on the rocks) and then another ("This time make it a double") smokes three cigarettes and orders another drink ("Just bring me two right away"). With his last drinks, I bring the bill. "No, no schweety," he slurs, "I'm just getting started. I don't need a tab yet." I tell him four drinks is our limit, which is what my manager told me as I made his last two drinks. He puts down the cash to cover the tab, slams both of his drinks and walks out. A minute later, he comes back in and asks for a Jim Beam on the rocks. I tell him I can't serve him. He argues that he just walked in the door, I tell him I'm sorry, but there's nothing more I can do, he's more than welcome to talk to the manager. Instead, he just leaves, muttering swear words under his breath.
Okay, that's more than enough for now. Catch ya next week, I'm off this weekend.
Thursday
Table 6
They sat down at 4:15 p.m. They ordered a beer each and said they were going to wait to order food.
They ordered their next beers at 5:30. And had yet to even open their menus.
At 6:15 they ordered chips and salsa.
At 6:50 they ordered one more beer.
7:15. I get cut from the floor (that means I get to finish my sidework and go home, for those non-waitstaff folks) and they order food.
7:20 They get their food.
7:22. They ask for to-go boxes.
7:50 They complain to the cashier that the last beer wasn't half-price like the happy hour beers. They complain that they had to pay for chips and salsa. The guy even complained that the booth made his back hurt.
They took the table for 3 hours, spent hardly any money ($21) and then complained about pretty much everything. To put the icing on the cake they tipped $2. Which, granted is almost 10%...but still that booth could've sat five or six table in the time they spent there.
It was all just very irritating.
They sat down at 4:15 p.m. They ordered a beer each and said they were going to wait to order food.
They ordered their next beers at 5:30. And had yet to even open their menus.
At 6:15 they ordered chips and salsa.
At 6:50 they ordered one more beer.
7:15. I get cut from the floor (that means I get to finish my sidework and go home, for those non-waitstaff folks) and they order food.
7:20 They get their food.
7:22. They ask for to-go boxes.
7:50 They complain to the cashier that the last beer wasn't half-price like the happy hour beers. They complain that they had to pay for chips and salsa. The guy even complained that the booth made his back hurt.
They took the table for 3 hours, spent hardly any money ($21) and then complained about pretty much everything. To put the icing on the cake they tipped $2. Which, granted is almost 10%...but still that booth could've sat five or six table in the time they spent there.
It was all just very irritating.
Tuesday
Table 7.
It's Halloween, so we all wore costumes to work. I was a pirate...which drove me to be very silly and say things like, "How arrrgh you doin'?" and the like. Most people giggled politley, a few even shared pirate jokes. (How much do pirates spend on earrings? A buck-an-ear. There's really no such thing as a good pirate joke.) But not Table 7.
I walk up, do my pirate schtick (the aforementioned, how argh you doin' matey thing), and not one person in the party of four smiles. One guy breaks the awkward silence with, "Coffee". I ask if anyone else would like anything else to drink, and the old woman in the back says, "If you're done playing around, I think we'd like to order." "Okay, I can take your drink orders at the same time." They order and the woman (who shall now be referred to as Rude Lady) ask for "a cup of decaf, hot, not cold like it usually is, with my meal".
I'm waiting for their food, and since we are dreadfully slow I'm just standing around talking to our few other customers. And Rude Lady starts waving her napkin. I walk over and ask if they need anything. She replies, "Have you forgotten my decaf?" I tell her I'm sorry, it seems I'd misunderstood, I thought she wanted it *with* her meal. To which she says, "Well, that's what I'd hoped but since our food is taking so long, I'd rather not wait."
I'd like to point out that it hadn't been even 7 minutes and every one of them had "very well-done" hamburgers.
I get her coffee and a minute later their food comes up. When I take it out everyone is pleased, but in need of mustard. I bring it back and Rude Lady is once again unhappy. "The tomato made my bun soggy. Just how long did you leave this sitting in the window?" "I'm sorry, our tomatoes are fresh and have a tendency to be juicy. I'll be more than happy to get you a new bun." She just sits there, holding her bun, staring at me. Then she asks, "Well, are you going to answer my question? How Long Did You Leave My Food Sitting Under Those Heat Lamps?" "Ma'am, I brought your food as soon as it was up, I doubt it was under any heat lamp for more than 30 seconds." She puts the burger on a side plate and tells me. "This time I want my bun crispy and my tomato on the side." I take the burger, give it to the cooks and go back to Table 7 to refill coffees. Everyone else says they're happy and the food is great. Rude Lady hands me her fries and says, "These are cold now. I need new ones. And don't just put these in the microwave I want Fresh Fries." I just take the plate and walk away, I'm done talking to her.
I bring her her brand new burger, bun and fries. With all the garnish on the side and she's happy. Entirely. She smiles and says thank you.
Before they leave I walk over and offer dessert and drop off the check. Rude Lady smiles and says, "You were off to a rocky start. Thank you for making things right. ... I almost had to make you walk the plank!!"
Everyone at Table 7 laughed. I giggled politely and walked away.
I think Tom Cruise is wrong...MORE people need medication.
It's Halloween, so we all wore costumes to work. I was a pirate...which drove me to be very silly and say things like, "How arrrgh you doin'?" and the like. Most people giggled politley, a few even shared pirate jokes. (How much do pirates spend on earrings? A buck-an-ear. There's really no such thing as a good pirate joke.) But not Table 7.
I walk up, do my pirate schtick (the aforementioned, how argh you doin' matey thing), and not one person in the party of four smiles. One guy breaks the awkward silence with, "Coffee". I ask if anyone else would like anything else to drink, and the old woman in the back says, "If you're done playing around, I think we'd like to order." "Okay, I can take your drink orders at the same time." They order and the woman (who shall now be referred to as Rude Lady) ask for "a cup of decaf, hot, not cold like it usually is, with my meal".
I'm waiting for their food, and since we are dreadfully slow I'm just standing around talking to our few other customers. And Rude Lady starts waving her napkin. I walk over and ask if they need anything. She replies, "Have you forgotten my decaf?" I tell her I'm sorry, it seems I'd misunderstood, I thought she wanted it *with* her meal. To which she says, "Well, that's what I'd hoped but since our food is taking so long, I'd rather not wait."
I'd like to point out that it hadn't been even 7 minutes and every one of them had "very well-done" hamburgers.
I get her coffee and a minute later their food comes up. When I take it out everyone is pleased, but in need of mustard. I bring it back and Rude Lady is once again unhappy. "The tomato made my bun soggy. Just how long did you leave this sitting in the window?" "I'm sorry, our tomatoes are fresh and have a tendency to be juicy. I'll be more than happy to get you a new bun." She just sits there, holding her bun, staring at me. Then she asks, "Well, are you going to answer my question? How Long Did You Leave My Food Sitting Under Those Heat Lamps?" "Ma'am, I brought your food as soon as it was up, I doubt it was under any heat lamp for more than 30 seconds." She puts the burger on a side plate and tells me. "This time I want my bun crispy and my tomato on the side." I take the burger, give it to the cooks and go back to Table 7 to refill coffees. Everyone else says they're happy and the food is great. Rude Lady hands me her fries and says, "These are cold now. I need new ones. And don't just put these in the microwave I want Fresh Fries." I just take the plate and walk away, I'm done talking to her.
I bring her her brand new burger, bun and fries. With all the garnish on the side and she's happy. Entirely. She smiles and says thank you.
Before they leave I walk over and offer dessert and drop off the check. Rude Lady smiles and says, "You were off to a rocky start. Thank you for making things right. ... I almost had to make you walk the plank!!"
Everyone at Table 7 laughed. I giggled politely and walked away.
I think Tom Cruise is wrong...MORE people need medication.
Sunday
Table 21
Two grubby, young kids and an old lady. Yeah, off to a beautiful start. The kids want coffee and water, the old lady wants wine. I asked what kind and she said, "The strong one". The grand-daughter says, "Just a white zinfandel, will be fine." The old lady was adorable...youngins' not so much. (Oh, and by kids, I mean early twenties. Not like, literally, children.)
The Order:
Boy: Can I get some chips and salsa and a combo burrito, extra green chili?"
Me: Sure, do you want the chips and salsa before the meal?
Boy: No, with the burrito.
Girl: I'll have the Macho Nachos.
Me: Beef or Chicken?
Girl: I said the Macho Nachos, not beef or chicken nachos.
Me: Okay, well, the Nachos come in either beef or chicken but if you'd rather I can do them with beans.
Girl: Well if it comes with it, then just give it to me.
Me: Okay, which would you like beef or chicken?
Girl: I thought you said they came with it?
Me: Yes, the Nachos come with EITHER beef OR chicken.
Girl: *rolls eyes* Beef, then.
Me: Good deal. And for you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'll have...
Girl: She's not hungry. *takes menu away from Old Lady*
Me: Okay...I should have that right out to you guys.
Their food comes up and I take it out. I put the chips and salsa down and the guy says, "Where's my guac?" I finish putting the food down and tell the guy that I hadn't heard him say guac, but I'll be right back with it and ask if anyone else needs anything. The Old Lady asks for another glass of wine. I make my way back to the kitchen to get some guac and the girl comes up and says, "Just bring her juice in a wine glass."
They eat and when they're done, most of the chips, salsa and guac are still left, as is the Old Lady's "wine". The Boy says, "Since you didn't bring out the chips and salsa as an appetizer we didn't get a chance to eat them...I want them taken off the bill, since you didn't bring them in time." That irritates me because he didn't order them as an appetizer, he asked for them with the burrito...Anyway, I ask my manager and he says just take it off. So, I do.
When they get to the register, the Old Lady tells the manager, "She didn't bring me wine, just juice in a wine glass." And he takes the wine off, too. I pointed out to him after they left I'd charged for a juice and explained what had happened. He thought it was all very funny.
Two grubby, young kids and an old lady. Yeah, off to a beautiful start. The kids want coffee and water, the old lady wants wine. I asked what kind and she said, "The strong one". The grand-daughter says, "Just a white zinfandel, will be fine." The old lady was adorable...youngins' not so much. (Oh, and by kids, I mean early twenties. Not like, literally, children.)
The Order:
Boy: Can I get some chips and salsa and a combo burrito, extra green chili?"
Me: Sure, do you want the chips and salsa before the meal?
Boy: No, with the burrito.
Girl: I'll have the Macho Nachos.
Me: Beef or Chicken?
Girl: I said the Macho Nachos, not beef or chicken nachos.
Me: Okay, well, the Nachos come in either beef or chicken but if you'd rather I can do them with beans.
Girl: Well if it comes with it, then just give it to me.
Me: Okay, which would you like beef or chicken?
Girl: I thought you said they came with it?
Me: Yes, the Nachos come with EITHER beef OR chicken.
Girl: *rolls eyes* Beef, then.
Me: Good deal. And for you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'll have...
Girl: She's not hungry. *takes menu away from Old Lady*
Me: Okay...I should have that right out to you guys.
Their food comes up and I take it out. I put the chips and salsa down and the guy says, "Where's my guac?" I finish putting the food down and tell the guy that I hadn't heard him say guac, but I'll be right back with it and ask if anyone else needs anything. The Old Lady asks for another glass of wine. I make my way back to the kitchen to get some guac and the girl comes up and says, "Just bring her juice in a wine glass."
They eat and when they're done, most of the chips, salsa and guac are still left, as is the Old Lady's "wine". The Boy says, "Since you didn't bring out the chips and salsa as an appetizer we didn't get a chance to eat them...I want them taken off the bill, since you didn't bring them in time." That irritates me because he didn't order them as an appetizer, he asked for them with the burrito...Anyway, I ask my manager and he says just take it off. So, I do.
When they get to the register, the Old Lady tells the manager, "She didn't bring me wine, just juice in a wine glass." And he takes the wine off, too. I pointed out to him after they left I'd charged for a juice and explained what had happened. He thought it was all very funny.
Friday
Alright. It's been almost a week since my last update...That in no way means that I've had no asshole customers, I've just been busy...watching TV and drinking coffee.
From Friday 10/21
Table 41
Two people who chose to sit in smoking, rather than wait five minutes for a table in non. When they were sat, the WHOLE restaurant was full, including 2/3rds of the smoking section and the whole bar. They were told it would take a minute for their server to get to them. Three minutes later when I did get to them, they complained about the wait...and the smoke. The host informed me a table was being cleaned off and if they wanted they could move. They declined. I took their order, along with four others, put them all in and ran to make drinks. Busy, busy, blah, blah. Their food came up while I happened to be standing next to the window. I took it to them right away and asked if they needed anything else. At the moment, they were okay, so I left them to their food. The other four orders came up in quick succession, taking another 10 minutes of so to get out in their entirety. I then checked back on Table 41. I gave them refills and confirmed that everything was okay and they needed nothing else. Drinks were made, more food was taken out and another ten minutes passes before I checked back in on 41.
And now the story changes. The woman is VERY upset. "I'm a regular here and never have I had such bad service." I'm taken a bit aback, as they've not seemed upset at all up to this point, "I'm sorry ma'am. What was wrong, and is there anything I can do for you now?" "I've just never had such bad service." "Okay...well, would you rather speak to my manager about this?" I thought maybe she hadn't answered because she didn't want to upset me, or maybe she was too cowardly to say something to my face. "Now, why do I got to talk to your manager. Can't you talk to me about you not being a good waitress?" "I'm sorry you found your service to be lacking. Let me go get my manager." I had to walk away. I couldn't figure out how to respond to her. I told Anthony (my manager) about the table and asked him to go talk to her. Instead, he watched some college football on TV. Finally she came up to the register and talked to Anthony. She told him, "She's had nothing but a bad attitude since the minute we sat down. Trying to get us to go sit somewhere else and rolling her eyes at us every chance she gets. Then I try to talk to her about it and she gets all uppity and rude. She's rude and stuck-up."
Now, in my life I've been called a LOT of things, but this is the first time I've ever been called "stuck-up".
For her talk of being a 'regular', I've worked five nights a week for the past eight months straight, and I've never seen her in that restaurant before.
From Friday 10/21
Table 41
Two people who chose to sit in smoking, rather than wait five minutes for a table in non. When they were sat, the WHOLE restaurant was full, including 2/3rds of the smoking section and the whole bar. They were told it would take a minute for their server to get to them. Three minutes later when I did get to them, they complained about the wait...and the smoke. The host informed me a table was being cleaned off and if they wanted they could move. They declined. I took their order, along with four others, put them all in and ran to make drinks. Busy, busy, blah, blah. Their food came up while I happened to be standing next to the window. I took it to them right away and asked if they needed anything else. At the moment, they were okay, so I left them to their food. The other four orders came up in quick succession, taking another 10 minutes of so to get out in their entirety. I then checked back on Table 41. I gave them refills and confirmed that everything was okay and they needed nothing else. Drinks were made, more food was taken out and another ten minutes passes before I checked back in on 41.
And now the story changes. The woman is VERY upset. "I'm a regular here and never have I had such bad service." I'm taken a bit aback, as they've not seemed upset at all up to this point, "I'm sorry ma'am. What was wrong, and is there anything I can do for you now?" "I've just never had such bad service." "Okay...well, would you rather speak to my manager about this?" I thought maybe she hadn't answered because she didn't want to upset me, or maybe she was too cowardly to say something to my face. "Now, why do I got to talk to your manager. Can't you talk to me about you not being a good waitress?" "I'm sorry you found your service to be lacking. Let me go get my manager." I had to walk away. I couldn't figure out how to respond to her. I told Anthony (my manager) about the table and asked him to go talk to her. Instead, he watched some college football on TV. Finally she came up to the register and talked to Anthony. She told him, "She's had nothing but a bad attitude since the minute we sat down. Trying to get us to go sit somewhere else and rolling her eyes at us every chance she gets. Then I try to talk to her about it and she gets all uppity and rude. She's rude and stuck-up."
Now, in my life I've been called a LOT of things, but this is the first time I've ever been called "stuck-up".
For her talk of being a 'regular', I've worked five nights a week for the past eight months straight, and I've never seen her in that restaurant before.
Wednesday
Table 6
On Sunday nights we're usually pretty slow, so we only have three servers. Normally this is more than enough, but this Sunday night, one of the other waitresses was sick. So there were only two of us. For 20 tables, not including the bar and counter. Of course this is the night we get really busy...but the real fun started when we were getting ready to close.
Ten minutes before we were going to lock the doors, I got two new tables. One was an incomplete party waiting for two more guests. I told them that we were going to be closing the kitchen in ten minutes. The reply I got, "Well, if we'd been told that when we walked in, we would've walked right back out."
My other party was all there. There was four of them and they ordered quickly and were really cool about it.
The other party was finally complete and they also ordered very quickly.
Then I took out the food.
The previously incomplete party was entirely happy and very nice. The lady who was rude apologized and said, "Sometimes, when I'm really hungry, I can be a real bitch. I'm so sorry if I was rude." Everything was cool.
The other table wanted extra gravy. The cooks had to get some from the back and warm it in the microwave, stir it so it warmed evenly and didn't get gross. This takes about three minutes. In that time, I tried to get some sidework done. I was wiping some stuff down, when the girl who'd asked for the gravy got up and started waving her arms frantically. I said I silent prayer that a fly hadn't fallen in her mashed potatoes. When I got there she said, "Hi, remember us? We're waiting for gravy? Or are you too busy cleaning to bother with us?" I apologized for her wait, explained the kitchen had been closed and it was going to take a couple extra minutes. I also asked if there was anything else I could do for them while they waited. They said everything was fine. I went and got the gravy, brought it to the table and the girl said, "My friend needs more wine." I smiled politely, asked if anyone else needed a refill while I was there and went to get the wine after everyone, again, said they were fine. When I dropped off the wine, The Girl's boyfriend took his iced tea from behind the dessert menu and said, "I need some more tea." I didn't smile, I didn't ask, I just went to get tea. My manager was standing near the pitcher of tea, while I filled it I told her how Table 6 was intentionally running me. She agreed it was fucked up and I when I dropped off the tea, I heard The Girl say, "If she didn't spend so much time talking to her friends, maybe I would try to be nicer."
At least her friends realized she was being a bitch too.
The previously incomplete party left when they were done eating, thanked everyone for sticking around for them, and tipped very generously.
Table 6 stayed until my manager asked them to leave, complained that we close too early, and left $3.
I hate people sometimes.
On Sunday nights we're usually pretty slow, so we only have three servers. Normally this is more than enough, but this Sunday night, one of the other waitresses was sick. So there were only two of us. For 20 tables, not including the bar and counter. Of course this is the night we get really busy...but the real fun started when we were getting ready to close.
Ten minutes before we were going to lock the doors, I got two new tables. One was an incomplete party waiting for two more guests. I told them that we were going to be closing the kitchen in ten minutes. The reply I got, "Well, if we'd been told that when we walked in, we would've walked right back out."
My other party was all there. There was four of them and they ordered quickly and were really cool about it.
The other party was finally complete and they also ordered very quickly.
Then I took out the food.
The previously incomplete party was entirely happy and very nice. The lady who was rude apologized and said, "Sometimes, when I'm really hungry, I can be a real bitch. I'm so sorry if I was rude." Everything was cool.
The other table wanted extra gravy. The cooks had to get some from the back and warm it in the microwave, stir it so it warmed evenly and didn't get gross. This takes about three minutes. In that time, I tried to get some sidework done. I was wiping some stuff down, when the girl who'd asked for the gravy got up and started waving her arms frantically. I said I silent prayer that a fly hadn't fallen in her mashed potatoes. When I got there she said, "Hi, remember us? We're waiting for gravy? Or are you too busy cleaning to bother with us?" I apologized for her wait, explained the kitchen had been closed and it was going to take a couple extra minutes. I also asked if there was anything else I could do for them while they waited. They said everything was fine. I went and got the gravy, brought it to the table and the girl said, "My friend needs more wine." I smiled politely, asked if anyone else needed a refill while I was there and went to get the wine after everyone, again, said they were fine. When I dropped off the wine, The Girl's boyfriend took his iced tea from behind the dessert menu and said, "I need some more tea." I didn't smile, I didn't ask, I just went to get tea. My manager was standing near the pitcher of tea, while I filled it I told her how Table 6 was intentionally running me. She agreed it was fucked up and I when I dropped off the tea, I heard The Girl say, "If she didn't spend so much time talking to her friends, maybe I would try to be nicer."
At least her friends realized she was being a bitch too.
The previously incomplete party left when they were done eating, thanked everyone for sticking around for them, and tipped very generously.
Table 6 stayed until my manager asked them to leave, complained that we close too early, and left $3.
I hate people sometimes.
Friday
Table 21.
They weren't specifically annoying or needy, though there were 13 of them.
I know that I'm a good server so I tend not to Gratuity large tables, though, I can if I choose.
I bet you can tell why they were the bad table tonight...
Yeah, on a $100 check, they left me $8.
$8. And they were actually happy with my service.
Overall it was a great night tonight though.
They weren't specifically annoying or needy, though there were 13 of them.
I know that I'm a good server so I tend not to Gratuity large tables, though, I can if I choose.
I bet you can tell why they were the bad table tonight...
Yeah, on a $100 check, they left me $8.
$8. And they were actually happy with my service.
Overall it was a great night tonight though.
Thursday
October 13th
This will be my venting zone. Here you will here about the worst customers that I've had to serve during my most recent shift...or occasionally, I'll throw in an old story or someone else's terrible experience. Um...Yeah.
So, tonight's worst table was TABLE 2.
They sat down, and waited at their table for about 2 minutes. I was putting in another tables order and getting extra napkins and such for yet another table, so I couldn't get to them right away.
The guy gets up, goes to the counter and asks (very loudly), "Is there anybody that works here?"
The hostess tells him someone will be right with him and apologizes.
I get over there, apologize for the wait, tell them the specials, and ask if they're ready to order.
He says, "Hell, I just sat down, can't you give me a minute to look at the menu?"
So, I walk away, get their drinks and come back to the table about 45 seconds later. He's sitting there with his menu closed and just starting at me like I just told him his mom sucks cock for gas money on Colfax.
"Darlin', maybe you don't know how to take a joke, but I was ready to order the last time you were here." I have absolutely no reply. The guy hadn't sounded like he was joking he was looking at the menu when he said it...anyway. So I get their order and take out their food.
He had a coney dog and she had a cup of chili. She *looks* at her chili and says, "This is too cold. Can you have them put it in the microwave for me?" I ask if they need anything else and walk away. I'm warming the chili when the guy walks up...in the servers line and says, "You done with that yet?" I just take it out and give it to him. It was in there about 10 seconds, but fuck him and his obese wife.
I take out the food to the other table, they're happy and nice...and then I walk past Table 2, the guys *grabs* my arm and asks for more chili for his hotdog.
After I give him his chili I ask if they need anything else and drop off the check. The guy says everything was fine, he smiles and says, "Sorry about all the trouble. You were great."
Then...when he's on his way out the door. He stops at the cashier stand and asks to speak to a manager. He then tells the manager that I was rude, his food was cold and I never came back to check on them. The manager apologizes and gives them a discount card for next time. The guy says he left the bill on the table. Which he did, though he paid with a check. Even though on the bill it says no checks, on the door it says no checks, at the register it says no checks.
So, tonight's worst table was TABLE 2.
They sat down, and waited at their table for about 2 minutes. I was putting in another tables order and getting extra napkins and such for yet another table, so I couldn't get to them right away.
The guy gets up, goes to the counter and asks (very loudly), "Is there anybody that works here?"
The hostess tells him someone will be right with him and apologizes.
I get over there, apologize for the wait, tell them the specials, and ask if they're ready to order.
He says, "Hell, I just sat down, can't you give me a minute to look at the menu?"
So, I walk away, get their drinks and come back to the table about 45 seconds later. He's sitting there with his menu closed and just starting at me like I just told him his mom sucks cock for gas money on Colfax.
"Darlin', maybe you don't know how to take a joke, but I was ready to order the last time you were here." I have absolutely no reply. The guy hadn't sounded like he was joking he was looking at the menu when he said it...anyway. So I get their order and take out their food.
He had a coney dog and she had a cup of chili. She *looks* at her chili and says, "This is too cold. Can you have them put it in the microwave for me?" I ask if they need anything else and walk away. I'm warming the chili when the guy walks up...in the servers line and says, "You done with that yet?" I just take it out and give it to him. It was in there about 10 seconds, but fuck him and his obese wife.
I take out the food to the other table, they're happy and nice...and then I walk past Table 2, the guys *grabs* my arm and asks for more chili for his hotdog.
After I give him his chili I ask if they need anything else and drop off the check. The guy says everything was fine, he smiles and says, "Sorry about all the trouble. You were great."
Then...when he's on his way out the door. He stops at the cashier stand and asks to speak to a manager. He then tells the manager that I was rude, his food was cold and I never came back to check on them. The manager apologizes and gives them a discount card for next time. The guy says he left the bill on the table. Which he did, though he paid with a check. Even though on the bill it says no checks, on the door it says no checks, at the register it says no checks.
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