Wow, where to start! It's been a big weekend in Diner Hell...

Table 7

Lady: What's the difference between a Buffalo Fried Chicken Salad and Fried Chicken Salad?
Me: The Buffalo Fried Chicken is a fried chicken breast smothered in buffalo sauce, with celery, carrots and tomatoes on a bed of lettuce, and the Fried Chicken Salad is...
Lady: So, it's not really a salad?
Me: Yes, it's a salad.
Lady: Okay, I'll have that.
Me: Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing?
Lady: For chicken salad?
Me: Ma'am, it's not chicken salad. It's A salad with a buffalo-style fried chicken breast on top.
Lady: Oh, blue cheese then.

Me: Here's your salad.
Lady: Hm.
Me: Does everything look okay?
Lady: I just wasn't expecting a buffalo chicken salad to have buffalo sauce on the chicken.


Table 5

An older-ish couple (early 50's) sat in my section on a pretty busy night...we won't give him a name because really he has nothing to do with this story but we'll call her Pennywise (because of the badly dyed red hair and scary make-up) BUT before they sat down (and which I found out later) they had an interaction with our inept host.

Host: Just one tonight? (she asks the man standing alone at the host desk)
Him: No, there's two.
Pennywise: Excuse me? Did you not see us come in together? I am with him. (She'd been standing by the special board)
Host: No, I hadn't seen you come in. Right this way.
Pennywise: Don't forget, it's for TWO. I know it can be hard.

So, they sit down, order iced teas and dinner. He's having a burger and she's having a Hot Turkey sandwich andsalad with crackers.
I get two new tables as I put in Table 5's order.
I run to get drinks and ask my manager to take Pennywise her salad with crackers. The manager makes the salad and puts a single packet of crackers on the plate. I get my drinks for my other tables, I run out another tables food, and I take an order (granted it was a few minutes before I got back to check on the salad, but I figured they'd be okay for five minutes with full drinks and their salad)
I stop on my way to take my other order, offer dessert and drop off a check, and take a drink order for my new table...
Me: Food should be up in just a couple of minutes. Do you need any more tea or anything right now?
Pennywise: I wanted crackERS with my salad.
Me: Sorry, be right back with more crackers.

I run around my section get back to the window and Table 5's food is up. So I grab their food, a handful of crackers and run over to Table 5.

Me: Alrighty folks, the food came up pretty quick so here's dinner and your crackers. I'm really sorry it took so long to get them to you.
Pennywise: No you're not.
Me: Excuse me?
Pennywise: You're NOT sorry. You don't care. You didn't even listen to me. I wanted to eat my salad BEFORE my food came out and I couldn't without my crackers. You're horribly rude. Horribly. Don't say you're sorry about something that obviously you care NOTH-ING about.
Me: I am very sorry you didn't get to eat your salad. Is there something I can do Now about it? Would you like a box for it and you can take it home instead? Would you like me to take your food back and bring it when you're done with your salad?
Pennywise: Stop. Saying. You're. Sorry. You're not sorry.
Me: Ma'am, I am. It seems there's nothing *I* can do for you. I'm going to get my manager and maybe she can do something.
(At this point I just need to get away from the table. I have other orders to take, checks to drop off, drinks to get...and worst of all her whole "You don't care" thing, really upset me and brought tears to my eyes. I may not specifically care about her, but I do care about my job.I may be *just* a waitress, but dammit I'm professional.)
Pennywise: She can't do anything. All that needs to be done is for you to change your attitude and you're the only one who can do that. You need to stop being so rude.
*I walk away with tears stinging my eyes*
I tell my managaer about the situation and she goes to talk to Table 5.
The manager comes back to me and says, "She had an almost entirely different story. She said you never stopped, she tried to get your attention repeatedly and you ignored her and when you dropped off the crackers, she thanked you and now everything is fine. I even offered to get another server to finish their meal and they said it wasn't a problem, everything was great."
I'm stunned. "Beth, she really did say that to me, she was so upset." "I believe you. Don't worry...but they're okay now. So just don't worry about it."
I go back to Table 5.
Me: How is everything.
Table 5: *silence*
Me: Okay. Here's your check. If you need anything else, Beth is the manager and you can go to her.
Table 5: *silence*

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