Table 21

Two grubby, young kids and an old lady. Yeah, off to a beautiful start. The kids want coffee and water, the old lady wants wine. I asked what kind and she said, "The strong one". The grand-daughter says, "Just a white zinfandel, will be fine." The old lady was adorable...youngins' not so much. (Oh, and by kids, I mean early twenties. Not like, literally, children.)

The Order:
Boy: Can I get some chips and salsa and a combo burrito, extra green chili?"
Me: Sure, do you want the chips and salsa before the meal?
Boy: No, with the burrito.
Girl: I'll have the Macho Nachos.
Me: Beef or Chicken?
Girl: I said the Macho Nachos, not beef or chicken nachos.
Me: Okay, well, the Nachos come in either beef or chicken but if you'd rather I can do them with beans.
Girl: Well if it comes with it, then just give it to me.
Me: Okay, which would you like beef or chicken?
Girl: I thought you said they came with it?
Me: Yes, the Nachos come with EITHER beef OR chicken.
Girl: *rolls eyes* Beef, then.
Me: Good deal. And for you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'll have...
Girl: She's not hungry. *takes menu away from Old Lady*
Me: Okay...I should have that right out to you guys.

Their food comes up and I take it out. I put the chips and salsa down and the guy says, "Where's my guac?" I finish putting the food down and tell the guy that I hadn't heard him say guac, but I'll be right back with it and ask if anyone else needs anything. The Old Lady asks for another glass of wine. I make my way back to the kitchen to get some guac and the girl comes up and says, "Just bring her juice in a wine glass."

They eat and when they're done, most of the chips, salsa and guac are still left, as is the Old Lady's "wine". The Boy says, "Since you didn't bring out the chips and salsa as an appetizer we didn't get a chance to eat them...I want them taken off the bill, since you didn't bring them in time." That irritates me because he didn't order them as an appetizer, he asked for them with the burrito...Anyway, I ask my manager and he says just take it off. So, I do.

When they get to the register, the Old Lady tells the manager, "She didn't bring me wine, just juice in a wine glass." And he takes the wine off, too. I pointed out to him after they left I'd charged for a juice and explained what had happened. He thought it was all very funny.