Table 7.

It's Halloween, so we all wore costumes to work. I was a pirate...which drove me to be very silly and say things like, "How arrrgh you doin'?" and the like. Most people giggled politley, a few even shared pirate jokes. (How much do pirates spend on earrings? A buck-an-ear. There's really no such thing as a good pirate joke.) But not Table 7.

I walk up, do my pirate schtick (the aforementioned, how argh you doin' matey thing), and not one person in the party of four smiles. One guy breaks the awkward silence with, "Coffee". I ask if anyone else would like anything else to drink, and the old woman in the back says, "If you're done playing around, I think we'd like to order." "Okay, I can take your drink orders at the same time." They order and the woman (who shall now be referred to as Rude Lady) ask for "a cup of decaf, hot, not cold like it usually is, with my meal".

I'm waiting for their food, and since we are dreadfully slow I'm just standing around talking to our few other customers. And Rude Lady starts waving her napkin. I walk over and ask if they need anything. She replies, "Have you forgotten my decaf?" I tell her I'm sorry, it seems I'd misunderstood, I thought she wanted it *with* her meal. To which she says, "Well, that's what I'd hoped but since our food is taking so long, I'd rather not wait."

I'd like to point out that it hadn't been even 7 minutes and every one of them had "very well-done" hamburgers.

I get her coffee and a minute later their food comes up. When I take it out everyone is pleased, but in need of mustard. I bring it back and Rude Lady is once again unhappy. "The tomato made my bun soggy. Just how long did you leave this sitting in the window?" "I'm sorry, our tomatoes are fresh and have a tendency to be juicy. I'll be more than happy to get you a new bun." She just sits there, holding her bun, staring at me. Then she asks, "Well, are you going to answer my question? How Long Did You Leave My Food Sitting Under Those Heat Lamps?" "Ma'am, I brought your food as soon as it was up, I doubt it was under any heat lamp for more than 30 seconds." She puts the burger on a side plate and tells me. "This time I want my bun crispy and my tomato on the side." I take the burger, give it to the cooks and go back to Table 7 to refill coffees. Everyone else says they're happy and the food is great. Rude Lady hands me her fries and says, "These are cold now. I need new ones. And don't just put these in the microwave I want Fresh Fries." I just take the plate and walk away, I'm done talking to her.

I bring her her brand new burger, bun and fries. With all the garnish on the side and she's happy. Entirely. She smiles and says thank you.

Before they leave I walk over and offer dessert and drop off the check. Rude Lady smiles and says, "You were off to a rocky start. Thank you for making things right. ... I almost had to make you walk the plank!!"

Everyone at Table 7 laughed. I giggled politely and walked away.

I think Tom Cruise is wrong...MORE people need medication.