On December 2 the Rocky Mountain News ran a feature article concerning server and diner complaints regarding each other.

The Diner POV
The Server POV

My favorite diner complaint "I don't like waiters touching my napkin when I go to the restroom." How does the person know that their server has touched their napkin?

After I'd read the article, there was an older gentleman sitting alone in my section. He'd left the table to use the restroom...and I walked over, placed his bill on the table and touched his napkin. He hadn't used it (that I could tell) and I just kinda poked it, but for the rest of the night I felt as if I'd done something wonderfully subversive and gotten away with it.

Amusing moment from tonight: Table 10
Two horribly annoying women "reserved" a table in my section then sat at the bar to wait for their friend. My manager wouldn't let me give away their booth, even though they weren't sitting at it nor were they ordering anything at the bar. Effectively losing seats in my section and another servers section. But you know, we aren't there to make money or anything. Eventually their friend made it in and they all sat at Table 10.
The Nice One listened while I told her the choices that came with the sandwiches and ordered without incident.
The Bitchy One made me repeat everything I'd told the nice one, asked if I could make a Guac Burger with a chicken breast instead of a burger, rolled her eyes when i told her we actually already had that on the menu and I'd be more than happy to get it for her and ordered breakfast instead.
The Crazy One asked if we had avocados. I told her that we did. She asked if I could give her a whole one. I told her I could. Then she asked, "What would you expect me to do with a whole avocado?" I told her I wasn't quite sure, but I guessed she would eat it. She looked at me like I was crazy for saying such a thing...then she said nothing at all. I asked her if she'd like another minute with the menu and she said, "No. I was just waiting for you to take my order." I was starting to loose my patience...just a little and I replied, "I'm sorry, I can't take your order if you don't tell me what you'd like. It's been a long week and all of my psychic abilitlies are drained." I laughed when I said it and her friends laughed with me. She just stared. Then she ordered a chicken sandwich with avocado slices. Not wanting to repeat the sandwich sides a third time, I asked, "Did you want to do the fries with that?" And she asked, "What else can I get instead?" "Mashed potatoes, baked potato, cottage cheese, fresh fruit or a cup of soup." (An amended list, but covering all the basics.)

She looked me right in the eye and said, "Is your fresh fruit from a can?"
I was stunned into silence.

"No, ma'am. Our fresh fruit is. Fresh. Fruit."

When I was back in the servers line I laughed maniacally for about five minutes.
It was that funny to me.

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