Table 44

I'm not sure how far these people had to walk from their trailer park to get to get to the restaurant, but I sure hope next time they make the trek they find somewhere else to stop and eat.

As soon as they sat down, all four of them (yes, including the 13 year old girl) lit up their Camel unfiltered cigarettes. They smoked while they ordered and while they ate. It was all really gross to me.

But let's start a little before the puff-puff-take a bite portion of the meal. I walk up to the table and ask if they'd like to start with something to drink. "Well, hell yeah little missy, I say we'd like some drinks." "Okay...what can I get for you?" "Drinks, isn't that what you said you were going to get us?" *all laugh* *I stand there waiting for someone to actually order something, no one does* "Okay, well, if you're not ready I'll just get you some water." and I start to walk away, because seriously, I have no patience. The lady says, "Ignore them. I'll have a coke" The 13-year old chain smoker says, "I'll have Mountain Dew." I tell her we don't have Mountain Dew and she starts crying. Crying, over no Mountain Dew. The Lady says, "Just bring her a Sprite. That'll be okay" The little girl lights another cigarette and wipes her eyes. The guy on the left says, "I wanna beer." I ask what kind of beer. "The only kind of beer there should be. A cold one." I tell him what we have on tap...and he says, "Honey, if it's cold that's all I care about. Bring this son-of-a-bitch one, too." (the son-of-a-bitch being the guy on the right).

I start to walk away to get their drinks and guy on the left says, "Hold on, Missy. Ain't cha gonna take our order? We ain't here for our health ya know. We want some food, dammit." I come back and take their order which is all the same thing, "We need four of them roast beefs on bread. With smashed taters and so much gravy if my head fell into the plate I'd drown. Ya got that? Enough gravy to drown me in." Seriously, that's exactly what he said.

I bring out the drinks and hand the ladies straws for their soft drinks. Guy on the Right says, "Hows about some straws for our beers? We ain't good enough for straws? hahaha" I don't laugh, instead, I just walk away...and as I do Guy on the Left says, "Too bad she ain't got no damn sense of humor. I hate them stuck-up Mexicans think they're smart 'cause they know English."

I just ignored him.

When I brough out their food, the Guy on the Right says to the 13 year old chainsmoker, "And you better eat every fuckin' bite of that too. Ya hear me, every last fuckin' bite."

I come back half-way through their meal to see if they're okay...and they're having a burping contest.

I come back to drop off their check...and the young girl isn't done eating...she's the only one. I offer to take their plates and the Guy on the Right says to the young girl, "Are you eatin' anymore?" She starts crying again, and says, "I can't." The Lady tells me, "Just leave the plate, she'll finish it." So, I walk away...and from the bar I watch as the guy gets food on a fork and tries to make the young girl eat it, dropping it on her clothes and smearing gravy all over her face. I asked my manager to go over there and talk to them, and all he said is, "It's family business. I'm just gonna stay out of it. Just don't look if it bothers you."

And I'm really sad to say, that's what I did. I ignored it...but I didn't know what to say to them, they scared me a little. Though, I should've taken a chance to tell them off...considering they left a fifty cent tip.

Table 11

Tonight was "Open-Mike Night". Which means people come in, hang out in the back room, sing and get drunk. It's a pretty good time. The whole point of my mentioning that is, the open-mic people were singing Secret Agent Man. Which is wonderfully fun song to sing. And I was singing it as I brought Table 11 their drinks.

I stopped singing, put their drinks down and was just opening my mouth to ask if they were ready to order when the girl said to me, "Whenever you're done singing I'd like a chocolate milkshake."

I really wanted to spit in her shake. Bitch.

Table 44

When I asked them what they wanted to drink, she replied, "Vater, vith ice. Lemon on ze side. Not. On ze rim. On. Ze. Side." Okay...
When I came back, I asked if they were ready to order and she said, "First I have question. You have turkey burger?" I replied, "No, but we do have a black-bean patty that you can substitute at no extra charge." "So, all you have iz meat?" "No, like I said, while we don't have a turkey burger, but we do have the vegetarian black-bean patty." " ' like you said' Tha'z not vat I asked. Get for me, the pork sandvich. He'll have chicken club. And two salads, a light dressing. On. The. Zide."
I bring the salads, with dressing on the side to the table and she says, "Vy, ven you are not busy does it take almost three minutes for just a salad? I'm practically starved."
When I bring out their food, she laughed. Literally, laughed. "Oh, such plate presentation. Colorado iz so quaint."

It took all of my strength not to hit that bitch. Maybe I was over-sensitive or something, but she really pissed me off.